


The Dingaling Thing

by IWasAlwaysDead



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Jokes, Crack, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, M/M, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:23:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29508261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWasAlwaysDead/pseuds/IWasAlwaysDead
Summary: I'm having a bout of insomnia, so to cheer myself up I wrote this fucking masterpiece. You're welcome.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 14
Kudos: 16





	The Dingaling Thing

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot believe you clicked on this shit. 
> 
> It's your funeral....

L put his mouth on Light's mouth and then moved his mouth around on Light's mouth some. “Can I touch your dingaling?” L asked, as denoted by the question mark.

Light looked at L with his eyes, using them to express surprise or disgust. Not sure which. “Sure!” He exclaimed, which is why I put an exclamation mark. Or is it point? I think it's point.

Anyway, Light's clothes blasted off his body magically because I'm too lazy to write about them taking each other's clothes off. Wait, L still has clothes on. Fuck it, his can blast off too.

Okay so now they're nakie, touching each other with their hands, because using their feet would be weird. Unless you're into that. Hey I'm not judging you.

Light's dong just so happens to be as big as a small whale, and when it flings free from his pants which were earlier ripped off, it crashes onto L and crushes him.

“Oh shit L are you okay?” Light asks. But you already knew that so I'm not sure why the fuck I have to write that every time.

“No man, I think I'm dead.” L replied. But it was muffled because he was under the giant dick so it sounded more like “Moff manf ah thinth ah'm deadf.”

“You wouldn't be able to speak if you were dead, L,” Light reasoned in a reasonable manner.

Pushing the huge doolidanger off himself, L sat up with a look on his face like he had a face that looked like something. Then he goes, “Holy shit Light, your deductive skills are ah-mazing! I'm going to suck your whale dick now because I'm so turned on!” L stuffed as much of the giant peepee into his mouth as he could and sucked on it, going “slurp slurp" and stuff.

Light was like “meh" about it all because L’s mouth wasn't really big enough to even get the whole tip in there. “Use your hands, dumb dumb.”

“Oh yeah!” L said, but it was muffled because he had a mouth full of penis so it sounded more like “graaack". Also, L appreciated the fact that Light assumed he had a humiliation kink. Calling him names made his little peepee turn into the big peepee. But not as big as Light's. Actually, L had like a normal Asian guy dick, so it was small. No offense to normal Asian guys. I'm sure your dicks are fantastic.

L took his hands and went back and forth on Light's gigantic wiener until his hands hurt, so like 30 to 45 seconds. “Are you close?” L asked, panting for breath like he ran a race of some kind.

“No?” Light said in a questiony way that was more like “are you fucking serious right now?” than it was an actual question.

L threw himself onto the bed and threw a fit like a spoiled teen on that sweet 16 show who didn't get the car they asked for but still got a car just not the one they wanted and it makes you want to reach through your TV and choke them out.

Yeah.

It was like that.

“Why is sex so _hard?”_ L complained like a stupid idiot. (Don't worry, he likes being called names so it's fine).

Light rolled his eyes and rolled up his big Ole dick and felt super unsatisfied _again. This must be how women all over the world feel. THIS IS AWFUL! I MUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!_ Light thought. Unfortunately he had no good ideas on what to do so he gave up. “Hey, wanna go eat some cake?”

L sat up in bed lickity split. “Yeah!”

THE END, BITCHES!!!

Haha now you're brain dead.

**Author's Note:**

> *pokes you in the face* uh, hey there... you okay? Your eye is twitching a bit. Um... I'm gonna go now.... bye!


End file.
